


Bless me now with your fierce tears

by tigriswolf



Series: comment_fic drabbles [228]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Backstory, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Gen, Red Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:19:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was not born in 1984.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bless me now with your fierce tears

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Bless me now with your fierce tears  
> Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Dylan Thomas  
> Warnings: violence, death, Red Room horrors  
> Pairings: implied Steve/Bucky  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 360  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: any, any, she'd like to know her own origin story

She was not born in 1984. That is all she knows for sure. 

.

No. It's not. There's more. 

.

Her mother named her Natalia. Called her _little spark_. Told her to burn. 

There is much that has been stolen from her. She knows that. 

.

Her hands are stained with blood. She knows that, too. 

.

He smiled at her, the one they called her teacher. He smiled at her and showed her the best way to kill. 

_There is the clean way_ , he said, _the quick way_. He glanced toward the window because there were always watchers. _We won't be allowed to use it, often_ , he said.

 _But_ , he added, softly, his flesh hand warm her on her cheek as he cupped her face, his silver hand firm on her arm, holding her in place as he showed where and how to cut, _when you kill for yourself, do it quickly and cleanly_.

She never saw him again, after that day. 

Not until Odessa. 

.

She was not born in 1984. 

.

He smiled at her, the one sent to kill her. He offered her a choice. 

She could’ve killed him. Easily.

She could’ve taken everything she learned and sold it to the highest bidder. 

Instead, she allowed them to shackle her and told them secrets. 

Instead, she took what others had made her and turned into a weapon for herself. 

Her hands were stained red with blood and she’d like to wash some of it out. 

.

She should have known. Pierce’s smile was a familiar.

.

Her mother named her Natalia and told her to burn. 

.

They find Steve on the riverbank. Alive. 

.

He never called her anything, her teacher. 

She loved him the way children love. He was kind. He was strong.

He once broke the neck of a doctor whose hand drifted to Yelena’s budding breasts. ( _Yelena_. She’d forgotten. No. It was stolen.)

She loved him.

Steve still does. 

.

Her mother named her Natalia. She chose Natasha.

Who is she with no masks? 

.

There is one debt left. 

.

“What are you doing?” Clint asks as she pushes him back into the apartment. 

“You need to rest up,” she tells him. “We’ve got work to do.”


End file.
